For many years I have wanted to get more fit, have more energy, be more balanced, and live life more in the moment.  However the only time I ever achieved this was when I was in boring jobs where my focus shifted from my career to my personal life.  When I did this my happiness went through the roof.  Very recently, someone pointed out that this was occurring because I am putting too much pressure on myself trying to be perfect.  It was a real awakening when two of my closest friends both from different parts of my life said the same thing at the same time.    Both said this out of genuine concern.

At the same time I also caught up with my sister.  She is someone who has experienced many tragedies in life but has responded by hitting the pavement and becoming a marathon runner.  What struck me was that my sister was in a great mental place and on the flip side I was feeling tired, negative and run down.  There was one clear reason.  My sister doesn’t take life for granted, she lives in the moment and looks to ‘smash it’ every day.  I, on the other hand was obsessed with living up to an expectation I had put on myself around my career and putting all my energy into being perfect.  In doing so, I was ironically falling far short of the mark.  I was putting my energy into a career and convincing myself around legacy when in reality I am just a caretaker in life looking to live in the moment. I was obsessed with fixing our house and paying of the mortgage and living by the beach (which I rarely visit).  When I wasn’t doing those things all I wanted to do was tune out and switch off.

Too bad for my family, my health, and my sense of adventure huh.

So I have come to realise that you make the choice alone and you have to wear the consequences.  If your health, family and life experiences are important, then you need to do it, not say it.  I doubt I will ever fully re-program my subconscious brain as this takes years of hard work and different habits.  But I do need to make a choice.

The choice I want to make is to ‘smash it’ every day.  Get up early, have some quiet time to myself walking along the beach, learn to meditate, catch public transport and look after the environment, read some of a book every-day, work hard and committed but have clear boundaries at work, play with the kids, go to the gym, travel, learn new things and spend quality time with the people I love.

They say the best way to make change is to make it public.    I put this out there for not only myself but to also help others who have the same challenge.